Mens Rules

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   We always hear the rules from the female side.
Now here are the "rules" from the male side.
They are all numbered 1 on purpose to make it easier for the ladies.
1. The weekend = sports, its like the full moon, or the changing of the tides....let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat, your a big girl, if its up put it down. We need it up, you need it down, you dont hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Ask for what you want, lets be clear on this one,  subtle hints dont work ! strong hints dont work ! obvious hints dont work ! JUST SAY IT !
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost any question.
1. Come to us with a problem ONLY if you want help solving it, sympathy is what your girlfriends give you.
1. A headache that lasts for several months IS a problem....see a doctor
1. Anything we said six months ago is inadmissible in an argument, in fact all comments become null and void after seven days.
1. If you wont dress like a french maid dont expect us to act like your soap opera heros.
1. If you think your fat you probably are, dont ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted in two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something, or tell us how its done, not both, if you already know how best to do it, then do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible please say what you have to say during the adverts.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and niether do we.
1. ALL men see only in sixteen colours, like windows default settings. Peach for example is a fruit not a colour. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches it WILL be scratched, we do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", we will act as if nothing is wrong, we know you are lying, but its just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question and you dont want an answer, expect an answer you didnt want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine,............ really.
1. Dont ask us what were thinking about, unless you are prepared to discuss sex, cars, beer or sport.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape, round IS a shape.
1. Thankyou for reading this, yes I know I will have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know, men really dont mind that, its like camping.

Edited by Nigel