Over tightening a spark plug shouldn't cause an oil leak. Oil shouldn't be getting into the bores of the cylinder head where the coils are located. If oil is leaking out thru the spark plug then combustion gases must also be leaking out making you down on power.
Spark plugs come with their own sealing rings but the ignition coils which then fit on top of the spark plugs and within the cylinder head orifice have rubber seals at the top of the coils. I cant see the pictures at work but http://www.bavarian-board.co.uk/forum_posts.asp?TID=47661&PN=1 - this thread I think should have a picture of a coil sat on an air filter and you may just be able to see the seals around the top of the coil. My coils and cylinder head bores were all bone dry.
Looking http://www.realoem.com/bmw/showparts.do?model=DT12&mospid=47538&btnr=11_2172&hg=11&fg=15 - here there doesn't appear to be any gaskets listed that fit between the cylinder head cover and the cylinder head around the area of the coils, just the large cylinder head cover gasket. Someone else can mibbie help with that part.
It's more likely you have an oil weep from the cylinder head cover gasket.
You would need to strip out each HT coils and look down each cylinder head bore to try and see which cylinder has this leak if it is indeed from a spark plug or sealing ring in that vacinity. That's easy enough for a garage to do to confirm the oil leak source and it wouldn't cost the earth to do.
HTH
Andrew
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