>> Understanding Engineers
>> Understanding Engineers - Take One
>> Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when
>> one said,
>> "Where did you get such a great bike?"
>> The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday,
>> minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike,
>> threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what
>> you want."
>> The second engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the
>> clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."
>>
>>
>> Understanding Engineers - Take Two
>> To the optimist, the glass is half full.
>> To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
>> To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
>>
>>
>> Understanding Engineers - Take Three
>> A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a
>> particularly slow group of golfers.
>> The engineer fumed, "What's with those blokes? We must have been waiting
>> for fifteen minutes!"
>> The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept
>> golf!"
>> The priest said, "Here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with
>> him."
>> He said, "Hello, George! what's wrong with that group ahead of us?
>> They're rather slow, aren't they?"
>> The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind fire
>> fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last
>> year, so we always let them play for free anytime."
>> The group fell silent for a moment.
>> The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer
for
>> them tonight."
>> The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist
>> colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them."
>> The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"
>>
>>
>> Understanding Engineers - Take Four
>> What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
>> Mechanical engineers build weapons and civil engineers build targets.
>>
>>
>> Understanding Engineers - Take Five
>> The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
>> The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The
>> graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The
>> graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
>>
>>
>> Understanding Engineers - Take Six
>> Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the
>> possible designers of the human body.
>> One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints."
>> Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system
has
>> many thousands of electrical connections."
>> The last one said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer.
>> Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area
>?"
>>
>>
>> Understanding Engineers - Take Seven
>> Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
>> Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough
>> features yet.
>>
>>
>> Understanding Engineers - Take Eight
>> An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him
>> and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."
>> He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
>> The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into
>> a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."
>> The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned
>> it to the pocket.
>> The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a
>> Princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want."
>> Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into
>> his pocket.
>> Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a
>> beautiful princess, and that I'll stay with you for one week and do
>> anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
>> The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a
>> girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."