http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,2-1531722,00.html - http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,2-1531722,00.html

some excerpts and my comments:

"It had died when it became entangled in power lines."  <ready cooked?>

"I was under the illusion that it would be all right to eat the best parts, rather than feed them to the cat" <8/10 cats prefer Whiskas, now you know what the rest prefer!>

" ... had kept for Sanday primary school to use as angel wings in its next nativity play" <cloying sentimentality sticks in your throat, as do swan wing feathers.... otherwise the old bill would be none the wiser>