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540 V8 
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Lick my badge Joined: 07-December-2005 Location: Running the asylum Status: Offline Points: 2280 |
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 Topic: These will make you chuckle!Posted: 23-June-2007 at 17:05 |
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Current:E34 540i Touring 6 speed manual(Mpower bodykit & suspension)& Chrysler Voyager 3.3 V6 auto Previous:E34 530iSE AC Schnitzer suspension. E28 525e auto-Standard |
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nero
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Just call me Tripod Joined: 15-October-2002 Location: Scotland Status: Offline Points: 3131 |
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Posted: 23-June-2007 at 18:04 |
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You think you have problems - see this reply to Miriam's Problem Page
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dutch
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Joined: 17-December-2005 Location: lakeside Essex Status: Offline Points: 438 |
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Posted: 23-June-2007 at 20:19 |
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some of you may have already seen this one, still makes me laugh!
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e39,1200 bandit
cooper S, Z3 topazbleu |
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Bigian
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Joined: 25-May-2005 Location: Stonehaven Status: Offline Points: 2167 |
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Posted: 24-June-2007 at 16:29 |
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If you can't be good don't get caught
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Nigel
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Joined: 09-November-2002 Status: Offline Points: 6941 |
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Posted: 24-June-2007 at 17:53 |
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Brilliant
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Nigel |
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flyingalexf68
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Joined: 01-April-2006 Location: 53°19’59,6°14’56 Status: Offline Points: 2581 |
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Posted: 24-June-2007 at 18:01 |
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1995 e36 3.0 M3 Coupe, Daytona Violet, AP Racing BBK, CCFL Angel Eyes, M3 Spoiler, M-Tec 3 Steering Wheel.
2000 530d Steptronic, Poverty Spec, 18" Alloys. |
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Nigel
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Joined: 09-November-2002 Status: Offline Points: 6941 |
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Posted: 24-June-2007 at 18:02 |
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When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend.
When I was 16 I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion, so Decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life. In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability. When I was 25 I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided that I needed a girl with some excitement. When I was 28 I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some real ambition. When I turned 31, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground and married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned. I am now older and wiser, and am just looking for a girl with big t*ts. |
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Nigel |
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Nigel
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Joined: 09-November-2002 Status: Offline Points: 6941 |
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Posted: 24-June-2007 at 18:04 |
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A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, still heavily sedated from a difficult four hour, surgical procedure. A young student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath Nurse", he mumbles, from behind the mask. "Are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet." He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, are my testicles black?" Concerned that he may elevate his vitals from worry about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and sheepishly pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his testicles in the other, lifting and moving them around. Then, she takes a close look and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir!!" The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but listen very, very closely...... A r e - m y - t e s t - r e s u l t s - b a c k ? |
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Best Wishes
Nigel |
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540 V8
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Lick my badge Joined: 07-December-2005 Location: Running the asylum Status: Offline Points: 2280 |
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Posted: 24-June-2007 at 19:48 |
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I sincerely hope none of your entries are from experience Nigel! Though I do have a theory of who the man found parading in his wifes clothes (several years ago I must add) Any ideas? Mike |
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Current:E34 540i Touring 6 speed manual(Mpower bodykit & suspension)& Chrysler Voyager 3.3 V6 auto Previous:E34 530iSE AC Schnitzer suspension. E28 525e auto-Standard |
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lukeduke
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Joined: 22-March-2006 Location: dublin Status: Offline Points: 1848 |
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Posted: 24-June-2007 at 20:53 |
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stop please your kilin me!!!
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Previous:
2001 M3 2004 M3 CS. Current: 2007 318D SE SALOON. |
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flyingalexf68
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Joined: 01-April-2006 Location: 53°19’59,6°14’56 Status: Offline Points: 2581 |
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Posted: 24-June-2007 at 22:46 |
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Nigel, I've got tears running down my face from laughing so hard at your
first post.
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1995 e36 3.0 M3 Coupe, Daytona Violet, AP Racing BBK, CCFL Angel Eyes, M3 Spoiler, M-Tec 3 Steering Wheel.
2000 530d Steptronic, Poverty Spec, 18" Alloys. |
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These will make you chuckle!
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