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IamSpartacus
Moderator Group
Joined: 21-November-2002
Location: Singapore
Status: Offline
Points: 3625
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Topic: One Chicken, One Road, Many Reasons Posted: 02-June-2005 at 09:27 |
At last some alternative answers to the age old question.... Why did the chicken cross the road?
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.
KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.
TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it take.
OSAMA BIN LADEN: That chicken knew nothing of its mission (ha ha ha) only that it would be a martyr.
SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
RONALD REAGAN: I forget.
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.
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The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
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Goldryder
Bavarian-Board Contributor
Illegitimi Non Carborundum
Joined: 02-April-2004
Location: Acomb, North Yorkshire
Status: Offline
Points: 5301
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Posted: 02-June-2005 at 09:33 |
Derek....
You are mad
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October 2-6 2008 - Houston, Texas - Long Distance Wedding
March 15-April 1 2009 - Transatlantic Cruise
October 10-25 2009 - China, Korea, Taiwan & Japan Cruise
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IamSpartacus
Moderator Group
Joined: 21-November-2002
Location: Singapore
Status: Offline
Points: 3625
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Posted: 02-June-2005 at 09:35 |
Truly, And there's more.....
LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you see, represents the black man. The chicken 'crossed' the black man in order to trample him and keep him down.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?
RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.
MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.
JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway?"
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The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
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Goldryder
Bavarian-Board Contributor
Illegitimi Non Carborundum
Joined: 02-April-2004
Location: Acomb, North Yorkshire
Status: Offline
Points: 5301
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Posted: 02-June-2005 at 09:36 |
Stark raving bonkers....
and when Niggles appears, this will get pushed into the nonsense thread..just you wait and see....
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October 2-6 2008 - Houston, Texas - Long Distance Wedding
March 15-April 1 2009 - Transatlantic Cruise
October 10-25 2009 - China, Korea, Taiwan & Japan Cruise
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IamSpartacus
Moderator Group
Joined: 21-November-2002
Location: Singapore
Status: Offline
Points: 3625
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Posted: 02-June-2005 at 09:44 |
It gets better....
FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook.
OLIVER STONE: The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"
CHARLES DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.
RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road... it transcended it.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.
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The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
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Goldryder
Bavarian-Board Contributor
Illegitimi Non Carborundum
Joined: 02-April-2004
Location: Acomb, North Yorkshire
Status: Offline
Points: 5301
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Posted: 02-June-2005 at 09:52 |
nutter....absolute nutter...
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October 2-6 2008 - Houston, Texas - Long Distance Wedding
March 15-April 1 2009 - Transatlantic Cruise
October 10-25 2009 - China, Korea, Taiwan & Japan Cruise
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IamSpartacus
Moderator Group
Joined: 21-November-2002
Location: Singapore
Status: Offline
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Posted: 02-June-2005 at 09:54 |
Without exception....
COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?
BILL CLINTON: I did not, and I repeat, did not have sexual relations with that chicken.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal a job from a decent, hard working American.
L.A.P.D.: Give us five minutes with the chicken and we'll find out.
DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!
GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road Son. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
GEORGE W. BUSH: The chicken crossed the road because he was an evil-doer, and we smoked him out of his hole and got him on the run!
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The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
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Goldryder
Bavarian-Board Contributor
Illegitimi Non Carborundum
Joined: 02-April-2004
Location: Acomb, North Yorkshire
Status: Offline
Points: 5301
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Posted: 02-June-2005 at 09:59 |
Someone go get a large straightjacket please..we have a right lunatic in our midst.....supposedly working in a tulip...
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October 2-6 2008 - Houston, Texas - Long Distance Wedding
March 15-April 1 2009 - Transatlantic Cruise
October 10-25 2009 - China, Korea, Taiwan & Japan Cruise
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IamSpartacus
Moderator Group
Joined: 21-November-2002
Location: Singapore
Status: Offline
Points: 3625
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Posted: 02-June-2005 at 10:00 |
I'm going slightly mad..... is it time for the little blue pill?
ANDERSEN CONSULTING: Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Anderson consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business.
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The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
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Goldryder
Bavarian-Board Contributor
Illegitimi Non Carborundum
Joined: 02-April-2004
Location: Acomb, North Yorkshire
Status: Offline
Points: 5301
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Posted: 02-June-2005 at 10:02 |
Not THAT blue pill..thats viagra...you mean THIS blue pill..the one to slow you down a bit...
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October 2-6 2008 - Houston, Texas - Long Distance Wedding
March 15-April 1 2009 - Transatlantic Cruise
October 10-25 2009 - China, Korea, Taiwan & Japan Cruise
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IamSpartacus
Moderator Group
Joined: 21-November-2002
Location: Singapore
Status: Offline
Points: 3625
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Posted: 02-June-2005 at 10:05 |
Forget Tizer, Thank Phizer!
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The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
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Peter Fenwick
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Joined: 27-August-2003
Location: Lost somewhere in time...
Status: Offline
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Posted: 02-June-2005 at 11:31 |
Derek M5 wrote:
I'm going slightly mad..... is it time for the little blue pill?
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Going? Surely you mean gone!
That depends on what exactly the little blue pill does...
Very good though, especially the Fox Mulder one.
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Entering an age of Austerity and now driving a Focus Diesel.
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IamSpartacus
Moderator Group
Joined: 21-November-2002
Location: Singapore
Status: Offline
Points: 3625
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Posted: 02-June-2005 at 11:39 |
Awright you got me, I'm long gone!
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The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
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IamSpartacus
Moderator Group
Joined: 21-November-2002
Location: Singapore
Status: Offline
Points: 3625
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Posted: 02-June-2005 at 11:40 |
Apperently if you mix Regaine (tm) and Viagra (tm) you get hair that stands on end!!!!!!
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The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
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Goldryder
Bavarian-Board Contributor
Illegitimi Non Carborundum
Joined: 02-April-2004
Location: Acomb, North Yorkshire
Status: Offline
Points: 5301
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Posted: 02-June-2005 at 11:41 |
Derek M5 wrote:
Apperently if you mix Regaine (tm) and Viagra (tm) you get hair that stands on end!!!!!! |
I know I will regret asking this but.....
Have you tried it out yet Derek?
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October 2-6 2008 - Houston, Texas - Long Distance Wedding
March 15-April 1 2009 - Transatlantic Cruise
October 10-25 2009 - China, Korea, Taiwan & Japan Cruise
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IamSpartacus
Moderator Group
Joined: 21-November-2002
Location: Singapore
Status: Offline
Points: 3625
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Posted: 02-June-2005 at 11:46 |
No need to at either end I'm happy to report!
but working with drugs as I do (since my thespian career was cruelly ended) I get to know what goes well with what!
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The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
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billgates e30
Really Senior Member II
Joined: 31-January-2005
Location: Tyne & Wear
Status: Offline
Points: 924
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Posted: 02-June-2005 at 12:47 |
BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. |
i don't ever recall saying that
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micky_h
Really Senior Member II
Joined: 17-February-2003
Location: United Kingdom
Status: Offline
Points: 798
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Posted: 02-June-2005 at 12:55 |
Derek M5 wrote:
No need to at either end I'm happy to report!
but working with drugs as I do (since my thespian career was cruelly ended) I get to know what goes well with what! |
Is that why your location is :-
Up above the streets and houses.....?
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Floody
Really Senior Member II
Joined: 14-April-2004
Location: U.K Darlington (Croft)!!
Status: Offline
Points: 1339
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Posted: 02-June-2005 at 16:54 |
Derek, got to give you credit, Nicola made me read them all out lol, going to send them on brill lol
P.S Any more???????????? (only in your free time) at work!!!
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Mark E30 M3 RHD!!! now sold !!! still crying!!!!
E36 318 is in technoviolet, for sale
Thank's for the photo Coasting, Flood's on tour!
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rubberknees50
Really Senior Member II
Does it have chrome bumpers?
Joined: 26-July-2004
Location: Telford, Shropshire
Status: Offline
Points: 1074
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Posted: 02-June-2005 at 17:27 |
This isn't for the nonsense thread, it's for the totally unhinged thread, lmao!
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IanT
E28 528, E23 735
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