female drivers

A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down

the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can

help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of

tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct

aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton

balls and a ball of string on the counter.

She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for

some tampons for your wife? He answers, " You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent

my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes,

and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling

papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper.

So, I figure if I have to roll my own ........... so does she.

A couple drove down a country road for several miles,

not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an

argument and neither of them wanted to concede their

position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats,

and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically,

CREATION

A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you

can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.

" The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made

me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;

God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!

A man and his wife were having an argument about who

should brew the coffee each morning.

The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up

first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."

The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking

around here and you should do it, because that is your

job, and I can just wait for my coffee."

Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it

is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."

Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."

So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New

Testament and showed him at the top of several pages,

that it indeed says.......... "HEBREWS"

The Silent Treatment

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving

each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the

next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early

morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the

silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,

"Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and

he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his

wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.

The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.