The Neverending Thread |
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Rhys
Moderator Group Coffee addict... Joined: 02-February-2003 Location: from the Latin locātiō Status: Offline Points: 10053 |
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Want to see my huge cock???
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V reg Rustbucket Merc C220 Cdi estate
J Reg Saab 900i 16v '63 Ford Anglia 105e deluxe R reg Honda PC50 moped.. No BMW as yet... |
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Horsetan
Really Senior Member II Say Neigh to Gatsos Joined: 11-April-2003 Location: Please let it be Ireland Status: Offline Points: 6381 |
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Issy
Admin Group THE BOSS! Joined: 21-February-2007 Location: Port Seton Status: Offline Points: 4429 |
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Well that caught my attention!!!!
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Horsetan
Really Senior Member II Say Neigh to Gatsos Joined: 11-April-2003 Location: Please let it be Ireland Status: Offline Points: 6381 |
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Issy
Admin Group THE BOSS! Joined: 21-February-2007 Location: Port Seton Status: Offline Points: 4429 |
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OMG Im sure you would run faster than that!!!!!!!
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Horsetan
Really Senior Member II Say Neigh to Gatsos Joined: 11-April-2003 Location: Please let it be Ireland Status: Offline Points: 6381 |
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Clearly the donkey wasn't particularly fussy.....
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Issy
Admin Group THE BOSS! Joined: 21-February-2007 Location: Port Seton Status: Offline Points: 4429 |
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True........ funny though
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Horsetan
Really Senior Member II Say Neigh to Gatsos Joined: 11-April-2003 Location: Please let it be Ireland Status: Offline Points: 6381 |
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Ye have to feel sorry for yer man - it was either the donkey or the barbed wire fence..... |
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Issy
Admin Group THE BOSS! Joined: 21-February-2007 Location: Port Seton Status: Offline Points: 4429 |
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Issy
Admin Group THE BOSS! Joined: 21-February-2007 Location: Port Seton Status: Offline Points: 4429 |
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A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. "Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! |
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Bigian
Really Senior Member II Joined: 25-May-2005 Location: Stonehaven Status: Offline Points: 2167 |
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Unless he does a back flip over fence but then again if he gets it wrong oooooooooooh maybe the donkey is still looking the better option.
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If you can't be good don't get caught
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dryle
Really Senior Member II Joined: 31-January-2006 Location: Enfield. Status: Offline Points: 1348 |
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Jim and Mary were both patients in a Mental Hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom and stayed there. Mary promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out. |
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Dave Ryle
"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it." -- George Bernard Shaw |
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dryle
Really Senior Member II Joined: 31-January-2006 Location: Enfield. Status: Offline Points: 1348 |
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A man walked into a bar and ordered a glass of white wine. He took a sip of the wine then tossed the remainder in the bartender's face. |
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Dave Ryle
"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it." -- George Bernard Shaw |
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dryle
Really Senior Member II Joined: 31-January-2006 Location: Enfield. Status: Offline Points: 1348 |
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Tony Blair called John Prescott into his office one day and said, ' John I Have a great idea! |
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Dave Ryle
"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it." -- George Bernard Shaw |
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Peter Fenwick
Bavarian-Board Contributor Joined: 27-August-2003 Location: Lost somewhere in time... Status: Offline Points: 6484 |
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This thread should be renamed 'the bad joke thread'
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Entering an age of Austerity and now driving a Focus Diesel.
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dryle
Really Senior Member II Joined: 31-January-2006 Location: Enfield. Status: Offline Points: 1348 |
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they are not that bad, i have worse
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Dave Ryle
"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it." -- George Bernard Shaw |
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thepits
Moderator Group Joined: 09-July-2003 Location: far far away Status: Offline Points: 10000473 |
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I'm sure you have |
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Cats know your every thought.
But don't care. |
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The blue bullet
Senior Member II Surfs Up! Joined: 09-April-2007 Location: Dublin Status: Offline Points: 231 |
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Since there is no thread for Chuck Norris related humour.... When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women. Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants. If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds till what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face. Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure. Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent. There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris. There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist. It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost a fight to a pirate, but that is a lie, created by Chuck Norris himself to lure more pirates to him. Chuck Norris once lined up to kick the winning field goal of a high school football game. When the football went flat, he persuaded the referees to let him kick the field goal with a 3 month old child. Chuck roundhoused kicked the baby 60 yards through the uprights and then proceeded to bang every girl in the stadium. When Chuck Norris's wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck said, "Don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Chuck Norris." Those aren't credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger; it is actually a list of people that Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked in the face that day. If you unscramble the letters in "Chuck Norris" you get "Huck corn, sir." That is why every fall, Chuck travels to Nebraska and burns the entire state down. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean. Chuck Norris does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard. When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you. Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement. Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month. A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded. Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull. Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya". Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits. Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!" The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain. After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. His reasoning? It was more "humane". Chuck Norris often asks people to pull his finger. When they do, he roundhouses them in the abdomen. Then he farts. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death. One of the greatest cover-ups of the last century was the fact that Hitler did not commit suicide in his bunker, but was in fact tea-bagged to death by Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris took my virginity, and he will sure as hell take yours. If you're thinking to yourself, "That's impossible, I already lost my virginity." then you are dead wrong. |
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muppet 2
Really Senior Member II Z3..Apple of my eye Joined: 26-April-2006 Location: roof down getting getting a Status: Offline Points: 1586 |
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I have been diagnosed with ADHOtS. Attention Deficit Hyperactive Ohh that's Shiney
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Coasting
Really Senior Member II www.TOTALTORQUE.net Joined: 05-February-2005 Location: Not with the two-faced bloke. Status: Offline Points: 2125 |
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Did you know that 80% of Soviet males born in 1923 didn't survive World War II? |
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