The Neverending Thread

Simon,this thread has never been serious

How is the hand pull in the Cotswold's?

Changing the subject (well maby not) enyone seen the new's tonight?

In America two big financial mortage co's

Fannie Mae and Freddei Mac are in trouble

Couldnt stop laughing

Rhys wrote: Floody wrote: I alway's rely on the land lady to do it for me never gets it wrong always gives good head I used to help mine clean up on a night, she used to give me a quick one behind the bar before I left to say thankyou. One of the bar towels msut have had a lot spilt on it one night as it was rather sticky and a bit stiff. There was always a sink full of hot water to hand behind the bar... ..she said if I put it in for her and gave it a good rub then let it soak for a while - she'd pull it out when it'd been in long enough and let it swing in the breeze till she needed it the next morning.

Take it you were helping to clean the lines

Yep, To true, seems like only yesterday!  Only problem, have an A4 at moment   

A sadist, a masochist, a murderer, a necrophile, a zoophile and a pyromaniac are all sitting on a bench in a mental institution, bored out of their minds.

"How about having sex with a cat?" asked the zoophile.

"Let's have sex with the cat and then torture it," says the sadist.

"Let's have sex with the cat, torture it and then kill it," shouted the murderer.

"Let's have sex with the cat, torture it, kill it and then have sex with it again," said the necrophile.

"Let's have sex with the cat, torture it, kill it, have sex with it again and then burn it," said the pyromaniac.

Silence took over ... and the masochist says: "Meow."

The other night, my wife started moaning to me ...

"You never take me anywhere expensive anymore"

I said "Come on then, grab your coat"

Excitedly she said "Where are we going?"

"The petrol station." I replied

I've gone and did a search ........

Japanese authorities have banned the movement of all animals after the discovery of several nibbled sofabeds in Tokyo.

It's feared this may indicate an outbreak of Futon Mouse disease.

I cant resist a challenge!

Two hunters went moose hunting every winter without success.

Finally, they came up with a foolproof plan. They got a very authentic female moose costume and learned the mating call of a female moose. The plan was to hide in the costume, lure the bull, then come out of the costume and shoot it.

They set themselves up on the edge of a clearing, donned their costume, and began to give the moose love call. Before long, their call was answered as a bull came crashing out of the forest and into the clearing.

When the bull was close enough, the guy in front said, �Okay, let�s get out and get him.�

After a moment that seemed like an eternity, the guy in the back shouted, �The zipper is stuck! What are we going to do?�

The guy in the front said, �Well, I�m going to start nibbling grass, but you�d better brace yourself.�